You Vs The World

Hi, it's me again.

I just finished preparing my documents to be sent to UMS tomorrow. It's a UPU matter, I hope I'll get a course there I really can't wait to further my study! Most of my Poli's friends are undergoing their degree right now, and I am 8 months late.

But there's one thing that concerns me the most, if I really do get the chance to study this September, will I ever get friends? I mean, my social skills are EXTREMELY LOW. No, not kidding. I don't like talking to people unless they talk to me first, and I also don't like to pretend that I like to befriends with people that I don't like to be friends with. That's one factor. Another factor is, my self-confidence is near to nil. That is probably because I focus too much on my physical appearance and I'm not comfortable with it. I am quite fat, and I don't think people love being around fat peoples like me. My face is not friendly at all too, that's probably one of the reason that repels people away from me. It's hard being a social chameleon, it's hard getting along with people that doesn't have the same way of thinking as you.

I would like to share some real-life stories that I've been through before. Back in '06 when I was transferred to a new school located in the heart of my city which is SM Lok Yuk Likas, I never thought I would get any friends there. But it's surprisingly easy to get along with most of the peoples there, because one thing I realized is most of them are open-minded, just like me. We have a lot of topics to be talked about and we laughed a hell lot! I really enjoy my times at my old highschool, I didn't regret any seconds I've wasted there. I even stayed in contact with most of my close friends from that school. And then 3 years later I furthered my diploma at Politeknik Kuching Sarawak. Trust me for a person like me, you wouldn't enjoy the surrounding and atmosphere. They are completely the opposite of my old highschool, and the peoples there are just... I don't know how to say this, lame probably? I've tried to get along with them and it's very excruciating and hard. I can't do that. I only have a few "friends" there, only about 8 or 9. Pathetic isn't it. I don't have anything to talk about to most of the peoples there, we don't have much in common. It's a pretty hard life living in that place for 3 years. I just wish I won't be in a place similar to that in the future.

What I am trying to do now is to improve my social skills, I even hate talking to people I don't know on the phone but I am trying to change it now. I just wish the best for myself.